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If you are here because I used this URL on a job application or a referral site, feel free to not read any of the content and just sit back and say, “Ahh, welp, looks like she’s a professional. Sign her up!”

If you have clicked through from a social media link, and you are a relative or estranged friend of mine,
Hi, Mom/Aunt/Sis/Cuz/Acquaintance! Thanks for your support! The cigarette is just a prop and the deranged nonsense about existential suffering is simply my latest social experiment. Gender is a social construct! Gotta go, I’ll call you back later. Love you lots.